Esteem is a need that will not be denied.
You weren’t born with esteem like you were born with worth. Rather, you were born with an insatiable desire to get esteem. You have always been seeking esteem, and you always will. The only question is how.
The third step in building your personal value is to start earning your self esteem.
Most people look outside themselves for their esteem. They look to their posessions. They look to other people. They look to their actions, their good deeds.
This is called building false esteem. If you’re looking to someone else for your esteem, what if they’re having a bad day?
If you’re looking to your possessions, what if your house burns down? What if someone steals your car?
Your self esteem is much too important to leave up to the whims of the world.
Esteem is the love you earn from yourself.
Seeking false esteem will leave you feeling hollow and empty inside. Thereis an easy solution. Stop seeking outside validation!
You are the only one who can give yourself any esteem, and it must be earned. It takes effort.
Esteem is the evaluation you make about yourself.
It is your own personal appraisal. Nobody can do it for you.
You’re already doing it on an unconscious level, so why not take conscious control of the process?
Thinking and feeling are the building blocks of self esteem.
Remember, esteem is an evaluation. To make the best evaluation requires you to think and feel about whatever it is you are evaluating.
Think with clarity. Feel with intensity. You need both. The more you think and feel, the more you will be able to build your self esteem.
The first step to earning self esteem is to be honest with yourself.
Esteem begins with honesty. Not to anyone else necessarily, but with yourself.
Are you really doing the best you can do? Are you really living up to your potential? Is there some area of your life that could use a little attention?
You can be the worst person in the world, but if you will admit that to yourself, you have taken the first step to building a positive self esteem. As you admit the way you are, you have something to build on.
The second step to earning self esteem is to take more responsibilty for your life.
What are you willing to be responsible for? What are you able to be responsible for? This says a lot about how much personal value you have.
Responsibility is the willingness and the ability to respond.
It’s only a burden is you’ve defined it that way. You could just as easily define it as the path to greater freedom. (Which it is!)
The willingness and the ability to respond to your life leads to fewer hassles, not more.
The third way to start earning your self esteem is by trusting yourself.
Can you rely on yourself? Are you in your own corner? That’s what trust is all about. Knowing that whatever life throws at you, you will deal with it. Maybe not as elegantly as you would have liked. Maybe not as easily as someone else. That’s okay. Trust is knowing you can cope.
These are the three main ways to start building your self-esteem. While there is certainly value in the feedback you get from others, don’t use it as a source of your esteem.
There are no shortcuts to self esteem.
Here’s some more good information on self esteem.
The intrinsic value of self esteem is that it makes you more ‘solid’ and more stable, so you aren’t as easily blown off course.