Letting Go Of The Past
Part One – Why We Hang On
Letting go of the past rates as perhaps the single most important thing you can do to improve your life. Very few actions you could take would offer a greater return than to let go of your attachment to the past.
Unfortunately, most folks have no intention of letting go of the past. In fact, they do all they can to keep it alive. And the past they keep alive often amounts to the worst possible events you could imagine.
You’ve experienced thousands of separate events in your life so far. Which ones stand out? Which ones matter?
Many people, if asked, could rattle off a litany of sorrow and pain that happened in the past. What comes to your mind when you think of past events? Do you have pleasant memories, or are you like most folks?
All too often, those remembered events of the past contain a similar unpleasant theme.
Events of the past become like the beads of a necklace, held together by a string called ‘My Little Story’. Many people wear this necklace with pride, others out of duty and obligation. A few among us actually throw off the little story of the past, rejecting it instead for something better… (a compelling future!)
Everyone has (or had) a ‘little story’. Some of us have woven intricate tapestries, ornately decorated and embellished with so many little lies and half-truths.
Or maybe your little story fits neatly onto a business card that you can pass out at the next Chamber of Commerce social mixer.
“Hi, my name is so-and-so and I’m the adult child of a blankety-blank mother. What’s your name?” Now please understand I’m not trying to trivialize your suffering. My intent is not to diminish any pain or trauma you may have gone through. We’ve all suffered in one way or another, to one degree or another. It comes with living in a primitive society.But if the basis for your little story is due to abuse you may have suffered (perhaps horribly) – as a child – and now it’s 10, 20, 30, how many years later?
Haven’t you been through enough already, without still torturing yourself about it? What’s the point in keeping it alive now?
The fact is, you ‘need’ your little story. You’re not about to let it go. Not right away, at least.
We get a lot of mileage out of our little story. (Some of us are getting 50 miles per gallon. You’d be crazy to give that up!)
The little story is just too convenient of an excuse. It forms a neat little package that we use for very specific reasons.
Some use it to avoid becoming more of who they really are, since it incorporates all the reasons ‘why not’.
Why you’re not more successful.
Why you’re not happier.
Why you’re not more loving.
Why you’re not…
Also, many use their little story as a club to punish and manipulate others. Others use it as an excuse to feel sorry for themselves. Still others use it to feel entitled.
“I shouldn’t have to wash the dishes or take out the trash after what happened to me!”
And many other uses exist as well. What all the reasons for hanging onto you little story have in common is that they are payoffs.
A payoff amounts to getting something in return, that you would not readily admit to. Who wants to admit they’re out to punish everyone they know, because they project ‘mother’onto them?
“See, I’m afraid of my mother, so I’ll pretend that you’re my mother. I’ll punish you instead. That way I don’t have to face up to what she did to me.”
If you can admit that you do have a little story, and admit to yourself that you are getting some sort of payoff from it, you will be taking the first step towards letting go of the past.
“The events were big – but the story is little.”
In addition to reading about ‘the little story’, you might also want to learn about the hidden energies that control your life right now.
I almost feel guilty because my life has become so enjoyable and so easy. Especially since I remember how miserable I used to be.
Basically it comes down to making one slight shift in what you do everyday, and you can watch in amazement as your life slowly begins to start working out in almost every way.
It’s such an important change that I’ve written a complete e-book about it. And I’d like to give you a copy for free. All you have to do is write your first name and primary email address into the space below, and you’ll be receiving a link to download the e-book right away.
Free e-book reveals exactly what to do right now, starting today, to feel better.